Empty House

The final show of the festival. Walt Wilkins, Drew Kennedy, Josh Grider on stage in the garden of the Gage Hotel, Marathon, Texas

Another road trip is in the books, and I’m back at home. There’s a twist this time. The son who was living with me has found his own place. By the river. Nice. But… The emptiness was palpable when I walked into the yard and then the house. That will take some getting used to. Fortunately, he’s just down the road and lots of his gear is still here, and this may or may not be a long-term venture.

I was lucky to have him after his mother and my wife passed away five years ago this August. We never much talked about it, but I think we filled a void for each other that needed filling. Having someone to lean on, even in silence, is nice especially when a companion of fifty years is gone, my wife, or a lifetime, his mother. Those are big losses and it would have been easy to take it out on each other. Luckily, we had plants and music to provide relief. Now, as with his mother, I have memories of him all over the yard in the trees and plants he brought to the gardens and yards, and some of the songs I sing.

It’s a funny thing, this grief. You never get to set it down. It’s part now of who you are. I guess the choice comes in how you wear it. In that regard, I have little advice to offer. I make my choices, live with them, and try to be kind and understanding of the choices others make who find themselves in the same boat. I know there will always be days when the sorrow comes, but if I’m smiling or singing when it does, I know I have a better chance of surviving.