Setting Goals
An inevitable consequence of aging is the increasing number of sad anniversaries peppering my life. I’ve lost acquaintances, friends and family. And not only have I suffered losses, but my friends have suffered losses, and the closer they are to me, the more I know about them. And because we’re close we all share the pain, which is probably helpful, although the pain of grief is so deeply personal, that it’s hard to know what’s going on inside the mind of the one grieving. Still, we do our best and hope that it’s enough.
In the long run, it’s probably a good thing to be reminded of mortality and what awaits us all. Although I don’t really know what most people get out of it. For me, it’s a reminder to take my time, and slow down a bit, and waste no energy on things that might previously have upset me. Old habits die hard, of course, but gradually I’ve learned how to tell my mind when a train of thought is a dead end and turn it back. Mostly that’s all about putting a what’s-done-is-done pin into old hurts and moving on.
I’ve also come to understand that I need to be excited about what lies ahead, not death of course, but the life I’m going to lead between now and then. This is a new time. There are new friends. I am doing new things. And I’ve got most of my health. Basically, I want to sparkle, a little. Be happy. Accepting. Less judgy. Supportive. Kind. Yet, confident in my abilities, such as they are. Simply put, I’d like to be a good person enjoying things, and that seems a worthy goal for this phase of my life, and a nice way to go out when I go.