The Pause
We did it. The second phase is complete. My oldest son’s family, minus one, came to town. We all gathered for more food and beverages, told stories, played games, exchanged gifts, again. It was a sweet time. Full of beginnings and endings. Two us on the high end of the age spectrum have lost spouses, and two of us on the young end are heading into deepening relationships. There’s even a new baby in the mix, with youngsters to tell the tale. Now we enter that time when we wrap things up before crashing into the next year.
I like this time of year. A time of introspection. When I worked, I always scheduled my vacation for year end. A week over the holidays could last two. Sometimes my wife and I would have Christmas projects to remodel and redo. Put down new floors, paint, that sort of thing. Now, on my own, I mostly mull things over, think about what I’ve done, and what I’d like to do. Use the end of one year as a steppingstone into the next. See if there’s a course to chart that might take me some place I’d like to go or try to go, physically or personally.
This also is my time to look back, see where I might have gone wrong, before looking up to see what life might bring. It’s me as a kid, moving to a new town, a new school. It’s me as an adult, moving to a new job, a new home. It’s me getting married, having children. It’s me knowing that whatever comes I can make it into something, if only I’ll try, by offering myself to the experience, to see it as a thing, good or bad, by the degrees to which I give it weight. And to know that whatever happens, it will always be part of me, part of my story, the story I’m telling.