Up and Down

There was a chance of rain around noon yesterday. The chance passed. So did the rain. There was a chance of rain at midnight. The chance passed. So did the rain. There are more chances today, but chances pass, unfulfilled, so I’m just going to wait and see what happens. I managed to hook up the drain pipe to the big rainwater tank, so I’m ready. But I’ll keep my hopes at a manageable level and not raise them again. I was more than ready at noon, but the rain had its own agenda.

It’s an odd thing about disappointment. The older I get the easier it is to accept. I guess I’ve permanently lowered my expectations about nearly everything. Or maybe I’ve gotten a better handle on my desires. I know I’ve learned the difference between want and need. So, perhaps I’ve always known the inevitability of disappointment, I’m simply better at managing it. Because there are things I want and I still strive for them.

I do know that yesterday’s bustling tank plumbing work helped raise my sagging spirits. I also cleaned house. Physical activity has always been one of my keys to managing my mercurial emotional states. But I’m surprised sometimes how often I forget how well that medicine works. Although, maybe I enjoy the roller coaster ride, and perhaps it’s just part of life. Up and down. A sort of mental gymnastics that ultimately strengthens the mind for the task of living.