Being Seen
I replay conversations in my head. Parse them right down to the phrase and single words. I’m looking for things I might have said or not said, things that might have given offense or not expressed my feelings appropriately. I’m also going over what other parties said, trying to make sure I heard what I thought I heard, because sometimes I hear what I want to hear.
You would think at my age I’d be better at this, but while I might be gifted in some areas, the world of social interaction has required much study. My work benefited greatly by being married for many years to a woman who made her way through the world with grace and a certain panache. All I needed to do was smile and be gracious. No other contribution was normally required.
Now that I’m on my own, after her passing, I actually have to talk. I have noticed, however, that being quiet is still a pretty good approach as is curiosity, and that works in my favor because I’m curious. I like stories and people are all about stories, our lives are all stories. Of course, some people don’t like to talk about themselves, but most folks enjoy the opportunity to share something of themselves with others. It probably speaks to our yearning to belong, to be seen and even valued. And that seems a worthwhile gift to give someone, a chance to be seen and heard.