Interior Monologue
When I started this writing adventure, it was mostly me looking at the world around my feet and commenting on it. A slow casual walk through life. Turns out there is lots to see in the ordinary. Then the elephant arrived: my wife’s dementia. I tried writing around it, but it was too big to ignore as was my grief in the aftermath of her death in 2020. Even now, six years on it seems as fresh as yesterday.
But the ubiquity of death, five close friends have lost spouses since I started, and the passing of time, has left me wondering if grief at this stage is really that big of a deal on a personal level. I miss my youth, too, but it’s not coming back either. So, carrying on feels like the right thing to do, although I have to confess that my mundane life sure feels mundane although maybe writing about it is how I get the color back. We’ll have to see.
I suspect today’s ennui is mostly the result of cool weather, gray skies and the lack of rain. Spirit dampening weather. But I’ve made my own sunshine in the past and think I can do it again. It’s a relatively simple recipe. Acceptance. I’m here. Tomorrow is there. This too shall pass. And how I feel is up to me.